Kristen Fraser Counselling Newcastle, NSW
Accredited Mental Health Social Worker
Psychological Support | Counselling | Clinical Supervision
Newcastle Counsellor Newsletters
May 2025 Newcastle Counsellor Newsletter
Psychological Strategy: Self Compassion
Hello there,
As a Therapist in Private Practice, one of the benefits of being the owner is being able to spend time on projects that are close to my heart. One of my core values is offering extra/additional/value add support outside of the therapy room.
This morning as I was driving to work a friend texted a simple Happy Friday which warmed my heart. It made me think about how I could in turn share and connect with you, so I created this Compassionate Self Talk infographic.
Compassion Focused Therapy was developed in 2000 by Professor Paul Gilbert. Paul noticed that self criticism and shame were common factors in many clinical mental health disorders.
Compassion is two parts, firstly being able to notice, engage with, and tolerate distress/suffering. Secondly, being able to take wise action to manage and reduce distress/suffering. Compassion for self or others or from other people is difficult to channel when our nervous system has been activated. Compassion is often seen as caring or kind, however, it requires courage and strength.
Self Compassion can be tricky for people with a strong inner critic. Sometimes we believe to be ambitious we need to be hard on ourselves. But the research shows we are better able to learn from our mistakes and that those who use self compassion are more motivated to try again and work harder or longer. The good news is that with time and practice we can master anything.
As we head into the weekend, I wish you a restful and rejuvenating break.
Take care, Kristen
June 2025 Newcastle Counsellor Newsletter
Psychological Strategy: Optimise for Enthusiasm
Hello!
Happy Friday, this week I am reflecting on how cold it has been, combined with not feeling 100% with a cold and sore throat. This is the long way of saying that I haven't been feeling very enthusiastic or energetic. However, a psychological tool I often find helpful is remembering when I'm not feeling great, is that emotions have a beginning, a middle and an end.
I find it helpful to remember we can optimize our day with only a few minutes and this infographic sums it up well:
How To Optimize for Enthusiasm: Make some small choices in your day that leave you feeling energetic and interested.
For me today, that was eating my lunch outside in the warm winter sunshine and going for a walk down Beaumont street and giving my brain and five senses some much needed joy and stimulation. I even found a bookshop and took pleasure in reading the latest titles.
As we head into the weekend, I challenge you to Optimize for Enthusiasm, it only takes 5 minutes.
Take care, Kristen
August 2025 Newcastle Counsellor Newsletter
Psychological Strategy: Different Types of Rest
Hello,
This week I have been reflecting on states of stress, overwhelm, exhaustion and burnout, particularly as we are in the thick of winter where we see less sunlight and are prone to moving our bodies less and not giving our brains permission to rest.
Stress can accumulate without us noticing, and in a world where productivity is valued above all else, we can internalise rest as 'shameful' or 'lazy', as opposed to rest being a necessity to refuel, rejuvenate, live sustainably and avoid burnout.
Often we think we are resting, but there might be a particular type of rest that our body needs. For example, you might be good at creating time for peace and quiet (sensory rest) but not good at mental rest (stepping away from decisions and planning). This infographic can help look at the different types of rest. Have a look and reflect on which types of rest come more easily to you than others.
Once you have identified the type of rest your body might need this week, have a think about how you might get that type of rest.
3 minute Rest Exercise:
Start by taking a deep breath in
Wriggle your toes, then bring them to stillness
Breathe in and squeeze your calf muscles together, hold, then exhale and release
Repeat with your calf muscles 3 times, then repeat with your thigh muscles, then your shoulders, then your face
Notice any tension left in your body and soften so your body is in stillness
Now your body is in neutral, reflect on the different types of rest, pick one that appeals and mentally select a time or day that you can devote 5,10 or 15 minutes to this weekend.
As we finish off our Fridays, I challenge you to pick one kind of rest that you could incorporate this weekend or the last 3 weeks of winter. Remember, it is the small shifts that accumulate into wellbeing.
Take care, Kristen
September 2025 Newcastle Counsellor Newsletter
Psychological Strategy: Radical Acceptance
Hello!
This month I want to share a psychological tool from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy called Radical Acceptance.
Radical Acceptance involves accepting the reality of a situation, without judgement or resisting against painful emotions or circumstances.
When we refuse to accept challenging circumstances it amplifies the pain, in difficult times we might have self talk that says things like 'I can't stand this', 'this is not okay' and 'this shouldn't be happening'. We can spend a lot of time and energy refusing to accept what cannot be changed.
Radical Acceptance doesn't mean we approve of a situation, it means we accept its existence, which then leads to emotional relief. Radical Acceptance is an active stance that facilitates change by helping regulate emotions and solve problems.
We might still feel disappointment, sadness or fear, but we avoid compounding these emotions with the added burden of non-acceptance.
The core idea is that suffering comes from fighting reality rather than the pain itself. By no longer resisting what is outside your control, you can redirect your mental and emotional energy to make proactive changes.
For example, in the infographic below, once we release fighting the situation (it's raining), we can put our energy towards finding a solution - getting an umbrella or changing plans from a picnic in the park to going to the movies.
Steps to Radical Acceptance
In the height of stress, Radical Acceptance can feel impossible, so instead imagine an alternate pathway - for example, ask yourself 'if I were accepting of this situation, what steps could I be taking' and imagine yourself doing the steps. Even if you aren't ready to take the steps yet, simply knowing there are choices in your response can help with getting unstuck, or knowing what steps you can take when you feel ready to. It can help to brainstorm lots of possible mini steps.
As always, I love hearing your thoughts, and I welcome all of your responses to these psychological strategies should you feel like replying.
Take care, Kristen
February 2026 Newcastle Counsellor Newsletter
Psychological Strategy: Word for 2026
Hello!
Happy 2026! I hope you have managed to have some down time and feel rejuvenated and feel excited for the year ahead. Perhaps you were feeling rejuvenated, but memories of any rest or holidays feel long ago, or perhaps those New Year's Resolutions have been forgotten. Fun fact, did you know that 80-88% of New Year's Resolutions fail!
This is exactly why I dislike New Year's Resolutions, and much prefer the values informed, Word of the Year. Picking one word that encapsulates your chosen value for the upcoming year, and brainstorming simple ways you can make space for that value/word to show up in 2026 is not only going to be more achievable and aligned with who you are as a person, but is key for emotional growth, self esteem, and resilience.
If you want my Free Printable - Word for 2026, visit: https://www.counsellingnewcastle.com.au/newcastlecounsellingprintables. If you want to read more about the difference between values and goals, read the blog here: https://www.counsellingnewcastle.com.au/post/embracing-values-over-resolutions-for-a-more-meaningful-new-year
My Word for 2026 is 'Focus'. I have already said 'no' to some events, to save my time and energy for my passion - connecting with my clients in individual therapy and Focus on psychological strategies that support emotional healing and growth. I'm excited for the year ahead, and ensuring I have some time and space to rest is another way I improve my ability to Focus on my clients.
If you're not feeling quite ready for 2026 or want to strengthen up the work you've been doing, why not reach out for a conversation. My online bookings are the easiest way to book - Mondays and Wednesdays for Telehealth, Tuesdays and Thursdays for face to face. Online bookings: https://www.counsellingnewcastle.com.au/bookonline
If you can't find a day/time that suits online, send me an email, I always love hearing from you.
Kind Regards, Kristen
May 2026 Newcastle Counsellor Newsletter
Psychological Strategy: The Difference Between Self Compassion and Self Pity
Happy Friday!
Today I want to share an infographic on Self Compassion. Often this psychological concept can be met with resistance, particularly those with a strong critical voice, for fear of letting standards slip. However, what tends to happen, when we buy into the self criticism, is we fall back the other way into self pity. Neither ends of the spectrum are helpful and often render us feeling overwhelmed, not good enough, or powerless.. Self compassion is a balance of awareness with empathy and this is the sweet spot where personal growth and change can occur.
But how do we move out of self criticism or self pity and closer to the middle ground of self compassion?
Self reflection and curiosity can help when we are feeling stuck. I have some questions in my quick blog post that we can ask ourselves that can help us move closer to the middle of the spectrum -towards Self Compassion. https://www.counsellingnewcastle.com.au/post/the-difference-between-self-pity-self-blame-and-self-compassion
If you would like to explore personal growth and emotional clarity or address blocks that might be getting in the way using evidenced based psychological strategies, including EMDR, my online bookings are the easiest way to book. Mondays and Wednesdays for Telehealth, Tuesdays and Thursdays for face to face. Online bookings: https://www.counsellingnewcastle.com.au/bookonline
If you can't find a day/time that suits online, send me an email, I always love hearing from you.
Kind Regards, Kristen
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